Personally, I don't see the big deal between a few years.
When I told my mom that Ryan and I were officially "going out" she went crazy. But three years really isn't a big deal.
It's not like he's five and i'm three. True, i'm a freshman, and he's a senior, but we're both in high school, and we get along great. I'm an honors student and even though i'm far from having my shit together, and I might not have the most self- respect, i'm not stupid enough to get taken advantage of by some older guy. I'm the type of person that's been taking advantage of people since i was two, talking my preschool teacher into longer time on the playground, extra carrot sticks for the class, all through negotiation. When i try, i'm a good talker, and so far, although he's dreamy and i get the feeling of like, i dont know, passion? when i'm around him. I dont lose my head completely and lose a sense of reality, i still have a grasp of my morals, I know what's right and what's wrong, and I know how to stick to my beliefs.


So taking that all into consideration, what's wrong with the age gap?

She thinks my mood swings are a choice, that i control them and use them purely for manipulation.
It made me think, and I will admit that perhaps once in a while I do do that, but generally, I can't controll my moodswings and they really bother me. I find my self in states of mind that are very abnormal, i'll ber strangely hyper, taking off my top live on the interent for hundred of strangers, stealing from stores, drinking, hooking up with my boyfriend, doing crazy shit that I see no right in, just because I enjoy it and cant be bothered with the consequences of my actions. Then i get into these moods where everything just sucks, again, i'm not thinking clearly, but in a different way, everything feels so wrong, i want to scream and kick and hit everything withint he vicinity, depending on the intensity, sometimes i do. My thoughts get cloudy, and all i can think about is my anger, my desire to kill, or harm, or if i'm sad, and not mad, i just feel completely off in a differnet way, again things are cloudy, i cant connect my thoughts with my mouth, i can't get things out, all i can do is sulk, or cry, or scream, or cut, and everything is wrong in my head and i can't think right.

its hard to explain

and i sound like a moron
haha oops

ps im supposed to write down everything that makes me angry the next week, fml

Never expected this of you
Wind swayed and direction changed
Poor old you's gone to join the flock
Limping off cowardly
What did they say at the costume shop
Bet theyd never seen a black sheep renting
A white wool costume before.
More than a facade i'd say
A full blown charade
Sure to end in a fiasco of some sort
Mind you it doesnt bother me
It's just, well, lies of this proportion seem almost indelicate
Quite the machiavellian you've grown up to be i see
Do what you please,
Revel in your chosen mediocrity.

Not very good, I wrote it late last night, but it's a good start, considering it's the first thing i've written in like, a month.
Not as good as my older stuff, in fact, this completely blows, but it'll do for now.